I am severely allergic to dairy (not just lactose), eggs,
nuts and shellfish. This has caused various problems throughout my life, the
obvious being strong allergic reactions to these foods, most commonly in
foreign countries where
I’ve had no choice but to try new foods because there certainly isn’t a Tesco round the corner. However I can’t complain because my allergies have provided countless humorous conversations between friends on the various ways they could smuggle milk into my food to kill me or get me out of a particularly taxing class and I’m more sure than I am of the Earth being round that I would be clinically obese by now if I were able to eat products like Cadbury’s chocolate or Domino’s pizza (I’d probably be as round as the Earth in fact).
I’ve had no choice but to try new foods because there certainly isn’t a Tesco round the corner. However I can’t complain because my allergies have provided countless humorous conversations between friends on the various ways they could smuggle milk into my food to kill me or get me out of a particularly taxing class and I’m more sure than I am of the Earth being round that I would be clinically obese by now if I were able to eat products like Cadbury’s chocolate or Domino’s pizza (I’d probably be as round as the Earth in fact).
Luckily for me the vegan fad as I like to call it, serves
its purpose well for me, with more food products than ever filling our
supermarket shelves, because if they do not contain nuts I don’t have to worry
about being allergic to them, as dairy, egg and shellfish are the forbidden
fruits of veganism you might say. Although I can in no way claim to be vegan,
black pudding, the most vulgar and arguably the most humanisticly wrong food
existent being my favourite. Let’s not forget bacon either.
I have to say, my mum has faced most of the difficulties
alone, managing my diet with scrutiny, explaining to worried parents of playdates
when I was young that there was to be no biscuits given or meals cooked (except
my best friend’s mum who she trusted with my life). They have always been a
route cause of anxiety for her, organisational skills being tested in order to
eat out or go on holiday without incident.
The main challenges I face with allergies is needing to
carry two epipens on my person at all times (two in case one doesn’t work) and
feeling uncomfortable sitting without food with a group of friends in a
restaurant because I can’t eat there, or even worse, having brought my own meal
with me and needing to explain to the waiter why I would like a plate even
though I’m not eating their food. This can bring the beetroot out in my cheeks
faster than falling face first on a pile of dog sh*t in front of Zac Efron. You
sometimes have to be very adamant with strangers wanting you to taste things
that there is no way on hell I’m putting that in my mouth, risking a hospital
visit, just to satisfy your need for praise on your cooking.
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The contents of my handbag, along with an asthmatic inhaler. Yep....I'm a sorry excuse for a human being |
But why is this the
case? It’s not my fault I can’t digest dairy. Nor is it my fault that other
people may feel uncomfortable cutting chocolate cake and accidentally offering
me a piece. Is it possibly the fact this detail about myself singles me out
from majority and I’m scared people might think I’m weird? I mean I am weird
but for completely different reasons. Possibly it's the idea that my allergies will immediately become my identifiable character among groups, forever labelled. So if you find yourself in the same
situation, let me know by dropping me an email and we can be weirdos
together.
Belles xx
Belles xx
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